A few weeks ago I spent a great few days out in Los Angeles at John MacArthur’s Shepherd’s Conference. I hung out with one of my good friends who was responsible for bringing me. We spent three days talking, enjoying great preaching, seeing the Pacific Ocean, and eating good food.

By the morning of our flight out of California, we were both pretty tired. As we trudged through the concourse on the way to our gate, my friend stopped to get some cash out of an ATM.
A gift shop was a few feet away. I walked over and grabbed a few “L.A.” postcards for my sons, and went to get in line to pay. The line was sort of helter-skelter and stretched all the way outside the shop.

Ahead of me in line was an older man who had some magazines and a water. I immediately noticed they were brainy mags, i.e. The Economist. Actually, he had 3-4 magazines. Most folks only buy 1 magazine at a time, especially at the no-discount price at an airport. I immediately thought something to the effect - I bet this guy would be interesting to sit next to on the plane, being a reader and all.

So, I looked up at the man. He looked up at me.

He had an intelligent look in his eyes. His eyes were very close to mine.
Now, up to this point I had not realized it, but we were both sort of in each other’s personal space.

Did I back up? Did he move forward?

No, we just stared at each other… for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 seconds.

I thought, “I know this guy. Where do I know him from?”

He looked at me like he was thinking, “Go ahead and get it over with please.”

Finally, my brain worked - “Hey, that is Ben Stein!”

My eyes lit up. He saw my eyes light up.
Two or three more incredibly-awkward seconds passed as we looked at each other.

He broke the silence by saying, “A long line today, huh?”

I guess because he didn’t say, “Yes, I AM Ben Stein, so stop staring”, it kind of caught me off guard. I began to think maybe it wasn’t him after all.

I said my “Intelligent Utterance #1″: “Yeah, especially where we had to take off our shoes. Really slow today.”

Really slow today? As if I had ever flown out of that airport?

Ok, I was just trying to be funny, bringing up the weird custom we all have to do these days, taking off our shoes in front of strangers.

He responded, “Really? I thought the security line was pretty short today. Do you usually get short lines here?”

I said, “Well, actually, I’ve never flown out of this airport before.”

He looked at me with the “The world sure is full of morons. Pleasant morons, but morons nonetheless.” expression on his face.
So, again, we kind of just stared at each other.

If it was indeed Ben Stein that I was talking to, then I wanted to thank him for his forthcoming movie about creationism.

Tom Ascol told us about it months ago on his blog. My own sister and brother-in-law (who became a Christian due to the influence of creation-science) had told me all about it just weeks earlier. Everyone who knows about the movie talks about it with great excitement.

But wait! My over-thinking mind panicked because I couldn’t remember if the movie was about “Intelligent Design” or “Creationism”. From experience, I know that some, not all, Intelligent Design folks get really, really upset if you use the word “creationist” to describe them.

Furthermore, I couldn’t even remember the name of the movie.

Kicked Out? No.
Flunked? No.

Suspended? Yeah, that sounded right.
So, I took one of the postcards, handed it out to him and said, “Can I have your autograph?”

He smiled big (with relief that this idiot was finally going to get on with it) and said, “Sure, what’s your name?”

I breathed a sigh of relief that I had not asked a totally normal person for their autograph, which you’ve got to admit would have seemed kind of strange.

I temporarily forgot my name, almost blurted out “Jennifer”, thinking I would have him sign it for my creationist sister.

Eventually I remembered my name, and provided him with the information.

“Oh yeah,” I thought, “The movie! Say something about the movie!”

So, I leaned in, still wondering how to say it - “creationist movie” or “intelligent design movie”?

That’s when my tongue blurted out “Intelligent Utterance #2″.

I said…

“I, um, want you to know, like, um…. I’ve seen Ferris Beuller’s Day Off, like 50 times!”

Doh!

One week in Southern California and I suddenly began using the word “like” more than a group of junior-high valley girls.

And where pray tell did the Ferris Beuller’s Day Off thing come from?

Whatever happened to thanking him for Expelled?

Did I really just tell a former Presidential speech-writer that the best thing I can think of about his long career is a teen-movie from the 80’s in which he was a minor (albeit hilarious) character?

Did I really say, with great exaggeration, that I have watched a movie fifty times, making myself out to be a media-saturated, pop-culture dolt?
I fully expected him to hit me over the had with The Economist or The Harvard Law Review.
Instead, he grinned real big and said, “I’ve seen it sixty.”

And that is my Ben Stein story.

All that to say - Go see Expelled!

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